my dad is officially a war veteran. whoot

this weekend was chaotic. on saturday we drove to glenns falls ny and went to some army party and then we got this really fancy hotel room (and this hotel had a starbucks, a restuarant, a ballroom , spa, and all that other stuff, inside the hotel. twaz crazy. then we had to drive to another place in NY to go to that ceremony for everyone in the first infantry division and it was so packed and i was so woozy that i can hardly remember alot of it. i remember it involved alot of people, flags, pretty lights, flashing cameras, news cameras, women and men in uniform, flags, standing up, clapping, and sitting down again. it was exasperating, but when it was over i met alot of important people and then went to this party that all of the army peeps were throwing. then we drove home, and it took like, 10 hours and we got lost in albany. it was annoying. oh well. i had this dream and it was crazy. i gotta tell u guys about it. well i was having that same recurring nightmare that i have had since i was 3 but it ended way differently, because all of the sudden i am in this bright, white room, sitting in a chair, facing an angel that was also seated. and there was a long silence and i just sat there picking at my fingernails until he spoke. this is our conversation.

Angel: "so, caitlin"

caitlin: *jumps becuase he finally spoke. looks into his eyes and sees fire. freaked out, she scoots back in her chair a bit*

another long, awkward silence......

caitlin: *begins to unwrap a packet of smarties she found in her pocket*

angel: *stares enviously at the smarties*

caitlin: *sees that he is staring at her smarties* "want some smarties?"

angel: "no... i mean yes"

caitlin: *hands him some smarties*

angel: *eats the smarties*

caitlin: *looking around the room, she suddenly smells the faint scent of men's axe deodorant* "are you wearing Axe?"

angel: "no"

caitlin: "yes you are!"

angel: "okay fine so i am!"

another long awkward silence...


caitlin: *looks around room* "so why am i here anyways?"

angel: "to discuss your nightmares"

caitlin: "can u make them go away?"

angel: "no only u can, which is why we need to talk about it"

caitlin: "okay...sooo-"

angel: "tell me caitlin. what is it you are afraid of"

caitlin: "lots of things! spiders, swiss cheese, charlie chaplin-"

angel: *shows caitlin what she is REALLY afraid of. with his eyes.*

caitlin: * sees these things in his eyes. begins to cry* "STOP!"

angel: "k sorry..anyways, i think ur nightmares are cause by past traumas in ur life."

caitlin: "traumas?"

angel: "yeah. u have had some pretty bad things happen in ur life, what with ur twin sister getting hit by that Schwan's truck last year"

caitlin: "that...wasnt-"

angel: "oh sorry im thinking of another girl"

caitlin: "k.... r u my guardian angel?"

angel: "no such thing as guardian angels, but there is somebody on earth who can be your guardian angel. u know, there is always somebody, maybe a friend or a sibling, that can be your guardian. u know, somebody that will always love you no matter what, who will always stand by your side, protect you, and stay with you even if nobody else will. somebody who will always be there for you, wipe your tears when u r sad, hold u when u are scared, and get ur spirits up when u are depressed, but its mostly somebody who will protect u"

caitlin: *taking it all in* "wow. okay."

angel: "enough of that tho. so tell me again. we gotta get through this. what are you afraid of?"

caitlin: "yo mama"

angel: *shows her horrific images again*

caitlin: "ahhh!! stop stop!" *very very scared, upset, and traumatized from the horrific images. she stands up and points a finger of accusation at him* "You're no angel. YOU'RE A DEMON!!" *sits down and begins to think that maybe it wasnt such a good thing to say to him*

angel: *fire blazes like crazy in his eyes* "we arent gettin anywhere with this. i give up."
and then shannon woke me up for school. weird huh?
~caitlin